Day 05 of #8weeksofukwrehab

Day 05

I am the kinda person who likes her music, and like to match the feelings I felt at that moment with the music that I;m listening.


So in the past few days that my emotions have gone stray, I found myself listening to

1) Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One
I know most people have a love/hate relationship with this song, so just hear out the reasons.
I found myself thinking, what if? What if youre not the one for me. I mean I never ever EVER felt the way I do for you with someone else. Even with *e*o.. (I just have to do that do i? =p)

"If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side"








Ok reading this can tear me up.. sobs sobs

Why the heck does my relationship need to be this damn complicated!


I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life 

This literally sums up my feelings..
And silly me crying on my bed at nights when you said to take care of myself and to not to worry about him so much..(yup, like thats gonna happen)

2) Bruno Mars - Talking To The Moon

"I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back

At night when the stars light up my room
I sit by myself talking to the moon.
Trying to get to you
In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too.
Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?"

Yes syg.. I want you back. Like now. Sekarang.
I think the longest we go without seeing each other is 2 weeks (raya hrtu) and damn it's hard. It's too damn hard. And now, with no prospects of seeing him for the next 3 months is... I dont know.. Heartbreaking. Sadness.

Saya sentiasa doakan syg.

Hopefully I'll survive without major incidents.
 

Day 04 of #8weeksofukwrehab

Day 04


Hi...How have you been doing since last I texted you? I seriously hope that you are not currently in any pain whatsoever, but I know I am asking too much. Of course youre in pain.You broke your shoulder bone in 3 pieces, got a metal plate to tie them all together, broke 4 ribs and dislocated your legs.


I simply have no words to describe the way I am feeling right now.
And the worst part of it all is that I am not there to see you, or help you in any way possible.
I guess that comes with the territory, I shouldve known better.


But lets not make this about me. I'll swallow my feelings.

Hope you take your medications in time, eat proper foods, drinks lotsa milk and dont think about anything else. I know youre in good hands.Focus on getting better. Please.

I think about the accident everyday and maybe, just maybe that Allah loves you so much that he didnt took you away. Just so we correct the ways we are living. Repent. Leave whats not suppose to be done. Thats the way I see it. This is a warning of His wrath and should never be taken for granted.

Everyday I pray for your speedy recovery and may He ease all your errands, whatever it is. In shaa Allah.


And quickly come back to me.

Day 03 of #8weeksofukwrehab

Day 03

Ignorant. Oblivion. Uninformed.
3 adjectives to describe my situation.
To describe me. As of now
I am uninformed
I am ignored
I am unimportant

But I have been for almost a year now
I know the facts, the truth, the stinging certainty
That I have been, and will always be
If the path I choose is the path I am leaning towards right about now
I would choose otherwise if there is nothing to blind me

3 days now. Only 3 questions answered.
I have not even given  a chance
There I was, still am
In the dark shadows, in the not-knowing
Useless.Futile.
Maybe I am nothing to you

I instruct myself to understand.
To put myself in your shoes
Like I have been doing all this while
Slowing my instruction eating me away
Bit by bit. Little by little

Have I no right to you?
No responsibility?
I'd like to have some please
Some obligation to you
If you could give me some
If you would

Yes, you can never fathom what I feel
And I would never wish you feel the same
For anyone especially me
Because I know you could not bear it
Because it hurts me so much
To be living like ghosts
No direction and no clue
And you're the reason for that

**
I am worried about you and I think you should know
I know you're hurting, but please by any chance
Let me know.

I feel so useless sitting here and being no help to you
You have given me nothing to work with
And it hurts me to my bone that I know nothing

I beg of you

**