Day 03 of #8weeksofukwrehab

Day 03

Ignorant. Oblivion. Uninformed.
3 adjectives to describe my situation.
To describe me. As of now
I am uninformed
I am ignored
I am unimportant

But I have been for almost a year now
I know the facts, the truth, the stinging certainty
That I have been, and will always be
If the path I choose is the path I am leaning towards right about now
I would choose otherwise if there is nothing to blind me

3 days now. Only 3 questions answered.
I have not even given  a chance
There I was, still am
In the dark shadows, in the not-knowing
Useless.Futile.
Maybe I am nothing to you

I instruct myself to understand.
To put myself in your shoes
Like I have been doing all this while
Slowing my instruction eating me away
Bit by bit. Little by little

Have I no right to you?
No responsibility?
I'd like to have some please
Some obligation to you
If you could give me some
If you would

Yes, you can never fathom what I feel
And I would never wish you feel the same
For anyone especially me
Because I know you could not bear it
Because it hurts me so much
To be living like ghosts
No direction and no clue
And you're the reason for that

**
I am worried about you and I think you should know
I know you're hurting, but please by any chance
Let me know.

I feel so useless sitting here and being no help to you
You have given me nothing to work with
And it hurts me to my bone that I know nothing

I beg of you

**